The Power of Being Kind to yourself: Self-Compassion

This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is a part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment. May I give myself the compassion I need. This is from the book, Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff, Ph.D.

To give ourselves compassion, we first have to recognize that we are suffering. We can't heal what we don't feel. We often don't know what we are feeling. Is it guilt, anger, sadness, loneliness, powerless, or unworthiness? 

Often, many emotions are mixed together. Instead of jumping right into problem-solving mode, what would it be like to pause for a few breaths and acknowledge that you're having a hard time and that your pain makes sense and deserves a kind, caring response?

Becoming aware of the stress of the present moment provides the foundation for self-compassion. It mirrors what's occurring without distortion. This insight of what is happening here and now allows us to see that thoughts about the past and future are just thoughts. The past doesn't exist except in our memories and the future doesn't exist except in our imaginations. 

When life feels harsh and painful, I remind myself of the quote by Jon Kabat-Zinn, "You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Although I can't stop the world and get off this crazy ride, I can practice self-compassion, which literally means "to suffer with" which implies a basic mutuality in regards to suffering. I belong to the human race. I'm in touch with my common humanity and understand that these feelings of inadequacy and disappointment are shared by all. The value of self-compassion is that it opens our feelings of love, kindness, wisdom and gentleness. These feelings lead me to prioritize self-care, self-acceptance and self-love which gives me the calm courage needed to make good choices for well-being, for myself and others.

"Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love." Mother Teresa

😀Fun fact: Eddie met Mother Teresa. She held his hand and had a conversation with him in Calcutta, (name has been changed to Kolkata in 2001). Eddie would love to share the story with you. Reach out if you're interested.

Simple Daily Routines for Self-Compassion

Self-compassion unfolds in the simple routines of daily life. Each small act is a step toward loving yourself:

• Journaling: Begin your day with micro-writes...a few lines about how you feel. Let your words land without judgment. Even a single sentence can create space for curiosity and acceptance. 
• Movement: A gentle stretch, a short walk, or a few slow yoga poses can reconnect you to your body’s wisdom. Movement is a language of care—listen for what feels nourishing and stretch into that.
• Breathing: Take a minute to feel 6 or 7 generous inhales followed by slow, thorough exhales. Notice the rise and fall in your belly. Breathing is your anchor—a reminder that you are safe and supported, here and now.
• Mindfulness: Pause and notice your surroundings. Name 4 objects you see (lamp, book, faucet, cup). Name 3 things you can feel (pressure of my socks, support of my chair, silky fur of my cat). Name 2 things you can hear (clock, person speaking). Name 1 thing you can taste (tea). Mindfulness is the art of returning, again and again, to the present moment. 

These micro practices don’t take much time or energy. Their power lies in their simplicity and in your willingness to show up for yourself, just as you are.

Somatic Journaling Sessions
Work with me, in-person or online for a somatic journaling session.

You'll receive a journal and personal guidance on how to get started with micro-writes, small nuggets of journaling that guide you to listen to your body and trust its guidance.
Learn more about somatic midfulness

Free Resources and Support

Download Three Free Tools to Stop Overwhelm—simple practices to help you ground, breathe, and begin a kinder relationship with yourself.

Curious about mindful microdosing, trauma-sensitive yoga, or integrating spiritual experiences? Explore our website for programs and one-on-one mentoring that meet you where you are, with compassion at the center.